i'm done.

Get that tblog, DONE!?

Too many times have I tried to blog, ready to pour my soul out into a long, heartfelt blog, and I have tried to get on, and their servers have been down.

Or, I am in the process of posting and their servers fail in the middle.

And I'm the one who loses the entry, and the last 15 minutes of my life.

Good by tbloggers, its been swell.

Here's my new website, this is where I will be posting.

I constructed this site from the ground myself, so WAHHH!

Go here.

Ayez de la patience mes amis, it has an artsy little flash intro and it could take a few seconds to load.

Over and out, for the final time.

So I've realized I hate tblog.

And my devotion to my blog has led me to be a go-getter and do my own webpage.  So I'm gonna do that.  And put it up.

Good thing my Dad bought my domain name while I was in NYC.

hehe

I was going to post something witty last night.  About how crazy the French language is.

Something like:

Français sucks.

Je suis une cocaïnomane.

That sentence could mean two entirely different things.

One would land me in jail or some sort of anonymous meeting.

The other, well, that would just be weird.

I am a cocaine addict.

I follow the cocaine addict.

The conjugation of the verb suivre (to follow) is the same as that of être (to be) in the je (I) form.

Weird.

Studying at Adrie's for the Medea essay and the French test over present verbs.  It was going great until she read the term for 'coconut cake' aloud, and I decided it was time to go.

It helped.  I did well (I think) on the French test.  And the Medea essay was a sweet prompt about feminism in literature (je refuse les rôles feminins traditionels! yea, that's a vocab word...along with sexual freedom, and to seduce)

And now I'm home.

I love privileges.

I still hate tblog.

I hate shopping for pants.

I mean really.  Am I that unproportional?  I like to think I am of rather average build, semi-tall...but jeans, haha, will never fit me properly.

The jeans I have on today, falling off.  The jeans I tried on at GAP, way too high-waisted.  The jeans I looked at at Express, were Barbie-worthy.

And they were a size 6.

I like my style.  It is a little different, kind of eccentric.  Basically, whatever the heck I feel like wearing.  Maybe a cardigan, maybe a skirt, maybe a blazer, maybe combat boots.  My clothes fluxuate with my moods.

Which is really often.

But it gets difficult when nothing fits properly.  Either too small, or too big.  The happy medium doesn't really exist anymore.

Ah well.

School today was the same.  We resurrected RENT in show-choir (YES! We got all nostalgic...), had a quiz in AP English, and a quiz that took me way too long in AP Calc.  But I really like Calc this year.  Oddly enough I am actually motivated to do my homework.

Why am I an artsy person, I ask again?

Wendy's 99¢ value menu for lunch, along with some Calc homework and good times with Aly & Amy.  AP Gov saw the finale of Animal Farm (I found out all the creatures were done by Henson's Creature Shop.  Jim Henson is my idol, up there with Tim Burton and Baz Luhrman and Peter Jackson and Claude Monet and Johnny Depp, but the fact that he would allow himself to be associated with that kind of product...very sad.  *shakes head dismally*) And ceramics met the beginning of a new project.  It's gonna look like crap.  Don't have any expectations.

Last night I discovered a fantastic new show.  Dead Like Me.  It's about grim reapers.  But they are so funny.  Let me share:

Death is like a game.  Like Duck, duck, goose.  Duck..., duck..., dead.

I actually read Hamlet in high school.  The guy couldn't make up his mind and everybody died.  I am Hamlet.  Everybody dies.

Something like that.  It was much more clever and witty on the show though.

And the same old swell of invisibility will set in.

I know I isolate myself.  I know I do all this theatre stuff, talk about how much fun I have, and subsequently (I guess) make my friends feel like I have all this other cool stuff going on.

I didn't leave the house today, once.

And I was cool with it.  I really didn't need to go anywhere, and sitting at home, doing some further college research, filling out those damned college apps, stuff I needed to do.  I get it.

But I really am not that busy.  Yet, at least.  But especially this year, I have stuff to do, but it isn't like I am never home.

Maybe I'm acting prematurely.  I hope I am.

I thrive when I have no time.  I force myself to do my homework, and even see my friends.

But really guys.  Really, though?  I do exist.  You can talk to me online.  Maybe I'm not all that interesting.  Maybe I don't gossip, ever.  Maybe some of the stuff you say to me I don't understand and I am kind of forced to smile and nod, but I like to listen.  I like to feel involved.  I need friends too.  I'm not really as confident as you think I am.  I like to go to parties, and hang out at people's houses.  I may not know people as well as you do, and I may not understand any of your wonky inside jokes...but still.  I don't go to football games for my health, and definitely not to see the team.  Honestly, none of them care if I go or not.  Heaven knows I don't like the sport.

if I told you now,
that in spite of my persistence,
and my confident demeanor,
I am more and more in doubt

if I told you now
that we're never really safe
from all the fires we set
or debts we had to pay

So I went to see Anything Goes last night at Huntington Playhouse.

Disappointing to say the least.

Leaving me with several questions:
1) Where are all the good actors in Cleveland?  I swear we had some.
2) Why does Zak keep doing these really long, boring, bad shows?  He's good, he's better than that.
3) Why do directors keep casting actors who are twice as old as the characters they should be playing?  We notice.  I swear.
4) How can these people go on performing, thinking they are amazing, when really they look like fools?  That is sad.

Ok, so I'm harsh.  I'm really harsh.  There were a lot of good moments in that show, and quite honestly, it was much, much better than Crazy For You at St. Paul Lutheran.

Yes, they did put on a show once.

But seriously.

Reno was way, way too old.  She did I get a Kick Out of You real nice, but that was it.  Zak was awesome, so were Moonshine and Bonnie, although Bonnie bordered on too old as well.  Sir Evelyn was funny, but Hope was spacey, her mother was even worse...and the chorus was lamentable.

But Cole Porter is awesome, so I just had to imagine it like it was the first time Anything Goes was staged, and that it was just amazing and had all of these show-stopping numbers.

Imagine being the operative word in that.

Went to Applebee's...we were all too tired to have a good time.  So we talked about really dumb topics, and that was it.

Woke up after 13 hours of sleep, and have been off and on the computer all day long.

And it looks like the rest of the day will follow that pattern.

It is incredible how one can get so dirty cleaning cars.

We had a car wash today for Co. D.  If I had a dime for every time I said car wash, I wouldn't be worried about college.  I could buy one.  I nearly screamed myself hoarse on the corner, literally selling my soul trying to get people to come.

Something worked, we made over $700.

But it was raining at first, so I received many sympathetic looks, and slight waves.

Hey guys, that's not gonna send me to NYC.

(That's what we were raising money for, btw.  Our trip to NYC in, yea, January. Ha. On several accounts.)

On a thrilling note, we won our first football game of the season last night against North Ridgeville.  I haven't been so excited at a game since I was in band, and when I was in band it wasn't because of the team.

So that was really cool.  It is kind of surreal knowing almost everyone who is playing (now, I am totally out of the loop, like, hard core, detatched and disconnected, and I still knew a lot of them.)

We are for sure seniors.

But we sat next to the band, and I danced to their music like the loon that I am, and it was a good old time.

I got burnt today though, and I hate it...because it is all in really weird spots.  Like behind my knees, and my neck.  And my face is red and I have a t-shirt line.

Damn.

I hate tanning.

But now I think I'm gonna have to sit out tomorrow just so I can get rid of it.

So what happens when a file gets 'quarantined'?

On a random note, I am wearing knee-high combat boots.

I didn't get to celebrate their purchase via blog because on that particular day I happenned to be about $33 lighter.

But they are from Journeys, and they are knee-high, lace up, 2 in. heeled chunky boots...they are hot.

And this is why Melissa is my favorite...

So I am a royal fcuk up.

Grr.

You would think one person involved in many activities would be able to keep her schedule straight and make sure she didn't have two commitments at the same time.

You would go even further to think that one person who was the president of multiple such clubs would keep it clear that her clubs did not schedule events on the same date.

Ha.

Ha ha ha ha.

:lol:

Yup.  I did it.  A show choir trip to Batesville Indiana (what's in Batesville? Don't get me started...) and opening night of the fall show.

Really? Really, tho?

Yea, yea.

Ok, so I was under the impression that the IN thing was tentative...so I didn't really take it seriously.  And then I went to synchronize my calenders (paper and electronic) I realized it, and e-mailed ER ASAP.

Hopefully he'll change it.  Although the e-mail I received back was rather short, and upset.  With a 'WE commited to that date.'  and a 'Not Good.'

Oh great.

On a lighter note...movie channels are bad for my health.

Got home, sat down to read Medea, turned on the TV, and found It's a Guy Thing.

Really funny movie.  Honestly, it is sort of Meet The Parents-esque...with a lot of totally impossible and awkward scenarios.

It's good.

And then I found Now and Then.  The Ultimate Chick Flick.  I've seen it so many times, and I still get so much joy out of watching it.

And now currently I am on to watching Crimson Tide.

Go Denzel.  Even though in every movie he is in, he is Denzel.  He has no other characters.

But Viggo is in it!  But as Viggo...not Aragorn.  Obviously.

Alright, I'm gonna go to bed now.

Today was so messed up.

In a good, funny, hysterical kind of messed up.

Got up the typical routine, got to school, chilled in our hallway (man, I am really fitting into this senior thing...) went to homeroom.  And the fun began.

Rumors started to swirl that we could pick up our senior privilege cards, assuming our hr teacher had turned in the forms.  Well, I've got Pelton.

First time I saw him, I thought he was a janitor.  Overweight, wears the 70's glasses, has a huge ring of keys he wears on the belt loop, suspenders you can see through the aging polos...yea.

Well, he didn't turn in the forms.  Ok, fine.  Our genius little table decided it would be nice of us to take the forms, and turn them in for him.  Save him the waddling down the hallway.  So we volunteered...

No.  That's ok.  I have to alphabetize them, and fill out some more paperwork, and hand them in myself.

How about we alphabetize them for you?

We did.

No joke.

But he still refused to allow us to take them down.  Instead he disappeared into his office behind the 'keep out' sign, and began working on his robot.

Or so Em says...and hell, it is Pelton.

I believe it.

And then through another series of classes, lots of fun in lunch talking about how horrible it would be to be a swimmer with a lisp, because everytime you spoke of your hobby, it would be something like,

yea, I thwim

Meandered through some study halls, went to government regular (slacker...what?) and watched Animal Farm.

Oh wow.

Animatronic/CG animals, singing, speaking, making speeches, milking each other, killing people...oh sweet lord...it is freakin' scary.

And then they show all this gratuitous ax-ing of pigs...hmm, it'll be a few days before I can handle meat again thanks much.

No, PETA, not there yet.  But give me time.

After making a head in ceramics that is fit to frighten small children on halloween, I ran to the attendance office to get my privilege card.

I got it.

Freedom is MINE! ha ha!

And then I talked to some people, got in my car, made it almost all the way out of the parking lot, and realized, whoa-ho...I never made it to my locker and subsequently forgot my Calc book.

So I drove back.

Spent another 15 minutes chit chatting, came home, did my homework, realized we were out of milk and I couldn't have a latte...but fortunately Mum did take my package and mail it...so things even out.

Sadly the lady I need to get ahold of for acting coaching doesn't have voicemail.

It is 2004...how do you not have voicemail...on your CELL PHONE!?

So I'll just have to be a stalker, and call, like, every hour.

Stalking is fun.

:twisted:

You learn something new everyday.

Crime is not a public policy.

That came in government from a girl who I used to actually be friends with, who I stopped hanging out with.  And she disappeared to rehab last year - but she's back.  And I have ceramics with her, too.  Go figure.

0/0 = cow

Ok, well, the expression 0 over 0 is technically indeterminate.  But if you plug it into a long division problem, you can get any answer.

6.5

4

pi

cow

Ahhh, that class shall be a good one.

Calculus, I mean.

And I really hate it when people say stuff, and think they know what they are talking about.  But they really are full of shit.  So they make themselves look like fools...especially to those who do know what they should be talking about.

I could elaborate...especially because I doubt she even reads this thing.  But I'll be nice.

:wink:

I will say, I take my acting rather seriously.  Everyone who knows me, knows that.  And I am by no means professional, or the most knowledgeable...but for the love of God...show some reverence for the art.

Oh, it is groundhog day, if you didn't know.  At least at Westlake.

The principal came out of his hole, and didn't run back in to hide.

Seriously, the principal (whom no one sees...ever), the two assistant principals (who are more noticable...with the bad kids), and our resident cop, were sitting in the lunch room, chilling, eating lunch with all the rest of us.

Parallel dimension?  Wow.

I sort of wanted to take out my camera cell phone and take a picture.

Then I realized I didn't have a camera phone.

And then I realized the teachers are nazis about phones this year.

I think I'm going to love ceramics too.  I mean, it is a fantastic excuse to get unexplanably messy...and to beat the crap out of a slab of clay.  I can fulfill my immaturity, and my frustrations, all at once!  We were wedging today, and I was laughing at the girls who thought it was gross and got clay stuck under their fake nails.

I've realized I have totally abandoned any sort of grammar in this entry, so bear with me.

And then the lights flickered, but no one thought anything of it.  So the bell rang, something like 20 minutes early, and over the PA they announced that we should disregard it (no, we dismissed everyone 20 minutes early...) because it was due to a power outage in the Westlake community.

Schweet.

Got home, had no power.  Ate some crackers, passed out on my bed...and didn't get out of it until 7.

Power was still out, groggily got up and went to Panera, had a salad and a mocha, got home, rather wired, found out that all the power was on.

Except us.

And about 8 other houses on my street.

There were 4 electrical trucks out front, tearing apart those ugly green boxes.  All the neighbors from the affected houses were crowding around outside.  It was cooler, and brighter than our homes.

And pop...it came back.

All was well.

I have internet.

Je suis heureuse.

ok, fine.

So LiveJournal sucks too.

I can't read anyone's lj.

Screw it.

i hate tblog.

Seriously considering switching to livejournal.

Anyway...the blog I tried to post looked something like this before the friggen server crashed.

When did I become a senior?

Where did the last 11 years of my life go?

Oh, right.  Into homework, shows, dance classes, voice lessons, acting classes, softball games, blood, sweat, tears, ugly boys, nasty sort of friends...got it.  I remember now.

One more year and I can let it all go.

Considering I make it through.

Here's the line-up:

1. Show choir - ha.  I'm prez...I love it.  It's all good.  Plus I am student of the month, thank God August is short.
2. French V AP - Why?  Well, at one point in time I thought about minoring in French in college. ha
3. English 12 AP - Our teacher came in to tell us she was not a sympathetic woman and did not often show mercy.  God save us.  Especially since I haven't had a real English teacher since the 7th Grade...
4. Calculus AP - yea, I'm good at it.  No issues here.
5. Study Hall - with J. Bates! yay!
6. Study Hall - priviledge period...my God.
7. Lunch - with, the entire world!
8. American Government - regular.  I'm only taking this so I can graduate.  I really could care less.
9. Ceramics semester one with Filmer.  I've heard if you listen to her suggestions, you'll be fine.  Design semester two with Davies.  Oh yea, that was when I thought I would be going into design after high school.  Well, then, obviously...I LOST MY MIND!

And so it goes.

And I had homework.  In AP French to write a minimum of one page composition on my summer.

One of the worst things I've ever put my name on.  Equivalent to: See spot.  See spot run.  Run spot.  Run.  And then spot run really fast so spot can see the water.

Yea, that bad.

AP English was to write about why we are taking the class.  Real reason: 'Cuz I didn't want to take Senior English and risk getting Smythe.  What I wrote: So that I could apply what I learn about literature and the English language to my theatre work, and acting, so that I am better able to understand characters motivations.

Wow, I bs sort of well.

AP Calc we had a quiz today.  Go figure.  But I got extra credit and a blow pop.

After running to the attendance office to get a parking permit (yea, drove to school illegally this morn...) I went to a voice lesson.  Obviously, not at my best because I got up at 6 IN THE FREAKING AM! So I am belting sorta badly, and this really obnoxious girl I used to like and then she became a head lice infested brat (don't ask) was listening and she said to me 'don't worry.  If you keep it up, you'll get it.'

She's, like, 12.

GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH !

I don't have to get up in seven and a half hours for school.

At least I finished Hedda Gabler.

Surprising, I actually enjoyed all of the books this year (that I read).

Which was still 4/5.

And the other one was Antigone.  No one understands the language so you really just need the basics of the plot and you're fine.

Wow I'm fabulous.

My backpack dried, after I painted it I mean.  It looks cute.  I put a French phrase on it (ok, so I stole it off of a bag from Urban Outfitters) and some ribbon, and then splatter painted over it.

J'èspere qu'aujourd'hui sera un bon jour.

Tell me that is gramatically correct or else I will cry.

I hope that today will be a good day.

I checked freetranslation.com, although they have a tendency to be full of it.

And I'm in AP French V.

What was I thinking?

Oh yea, that I wanted to minor in French in college. 

har har har

:lol:

Joe's Crab Shack has been really disappointing.  (I love how as I type this I have my feet on the wall and my body is all twisted, so I keep making dumb mistakes and I almost typed Joe's Crap Shack...he he he).  We just had the poorest crab dip ever.  My Dad makes it really well, he stole the recipe offline.  Although their Bananas Foster is reeeaallyy good.  Crepes, vanilla ice cream, caramel, chocolate, whipped cream, mmm.

Emily, I admire your willpower for living off of cereal.

I could never.

I've thought about eating healthier, working out more, 'dieting' in a respect...that is friggen hilarious.

Too lazy, too weak.

I should...but it'll never happen until I'm living in NYC, working at Starbucks every morning (if I'm lucky), and completely broke...so I'll have no choice but to live off of cereal.

Then I'll lose weight.

At least I have my self-esteem.

HA!

God, I should go to bed.

If I go to bed now, I'll get about 7 hours and 15 minutes worth of sleep.  But if we factor in the fact that I am an insomniac, which would subtract about 2 hours, add in my random dreams that keep me tossing and turning, throw out the time spent worrying about this year, divide by pi, multiply by the square root of -324 and you get:

NO SLEEP!

So why should I go to bed at all?

It really isn't worth it.

I keep meaning to change my cursor text trailer.

But everytime I want to, I see no reason to.

I'm with Amy, school is not happenning.

At all this year.

No no.

Can you tell I am in severe denial.

That I have to get up tomorrow.

That I have to think tomorrow.

That I will probably have a quiz or test the day after tomorrow.

Swell.

Golly gee, I can't wait.

It is hot a fcuk in my room, and I have to go to school.  Grr.

Well, I got some random oranizational things done today.  Nothing hugely important though.  I've read 3/5 summer reading books...the only two left are the plays.

Hedda Gabler...Ibsen...eh.

Antigone, was in it in the 6th grade.

Went to Avon Commons to run some errands...painted my messenger bag.  Kinda cool.  Had to order these 'parachute buckles' for it (sounds complex, but ya'all have 'em on yours...they just don't sell normal size ones anywhere).

So after a trip to Pat Cat's and Michael's...I ordered $1 worth of clips at $5 worth of shipping.

And to Amy's to finish up the Calc packet...that beastly thing.  I actually did it all though.  Although it is probably wrong.  Plus my answers don't really make a lot of sense...

Eh, the whole idea of summer work is dumb anyway.  Nobody does it, and anyone who does do it doesn't do it right, and anyone who doesn't do it is just smart.

Sigh.

Denial.

D

E

N

I

A

L

I seriously don't remember a show today.

I am in such a weird, random mood.  If I didn't know where I was this afternoon, I would've thought it all happenned yesterday, or earlier.

But I tell myself I had a show.  And I tell myself it went well.  My solo was better last night and the night before, but it was good enough to get everyone laughing.  Melissa was there, with the Drapacs.  Caleb was there too (for Em!) and I don't think he really cared I was even in the show.  But that's Caleb.

I tell myself I went to Donato's after, and had a nice time.  And then came home and cleaned some stuff up.

Serious denial about school on Tuesday.  I mean serious.

I always get sorta depressed after a show ends.  But it was even worse to have to have a show end like this.  Everyone so upset, and disappointed...I can't handle disappointment.  I mean, having Meg look at me all teary eyed, saying she was so upset to have to miss the show, specifically watching me perform...it killed me.  Then watching her start to cry as she half reprimanded/praised us all in the rehearsal hall...just not a good way to end things.  So I was all teary, and upset, and mad she couldn't watch me because she had to sit in the green room and interrogate everyone.  Kind of brought me down. 

Not to mention having to go back to school, the same old routine.  The same old crappy routine that gets me down...and worst of all, nothing to look forward to. 

Well, the sooner I start, the sooner it'll all be over. 

The sooner I get to go to college.

I just have to get accepted.

SOME LITTLE BASTAGE IS RUNNING AROUND THE BECK CENTER WITH MY F***ING MONEY!

Ok, I'm cool.

I've got on my big girl panties and I'm over it.

But yes, some little punk lifted exactly $33 from my wallet today during the first act of SPW.

And the little f***er made over $100 from this adventure over the course of the evening.

Well, when I realized it was gone (thanks to some lovely gals in the dressing room who discovered it on their own account) I went to tell one of the backstage moms.

I'm sorry, but I can't help you.

Are you kidding me?

:evil:

So, nearly in tears, I run to the skylight, get some water, and then just kind of pace around a little bit to compose myself.

Emily, bless her soul, goes and tells Dan, and at intermission the cast is rounded up and yelled at by the assistants.

Then Ryan found out.

And well, he snapped.

And this time, I do not use that term lightly.

I mean, shouting, shaking, angry, threats to not perform tomorrow if the money isn't returned.

It hasn't been.  We speculate, and the assistants searched everyone's bag before we left.

I must say, thank God Meg, or Mo, or Lester wasn't there tonight.

They would've blown through the roof.

Well, Lester and Meg will be there tomorrow, and I swear blood will be shed.

Speaking of blood, my nose is bleeding right now.  Stress? Maybe...

I mean, honestly, I don't even care at this point.  I don't wanna know who it is, I don't even want my money back, KEEP THE $33, obviously you need it more than I do, but seriously, give the money back to the 10 year-olds you took it from.

I'm flippin' t.o.'ed.

:evil:

But now I laugh about it.

:lol:

And the rest of the day was so pleasant.  Lots of sleep, then to the mall with Mum, bought some school clothes and an amazing pair of knee-high combat-ish boots that lace up the front.  Then to Macaroni Grill for dinner, mmm.

Then to Jena's for her sweet 16.  That was weird.

Long story short: Our families aren't on speaking terms (for another day) and so my cousins and I (Jena & Justin) are victims of circumstance.  So one day I steal her e-mail address and just decide to strike up some correspondence.  Well, it worked, and we keep chatting, and I've seen her, but today was the first time I've seen my aunt and uncle in almost 2 years.

Weird.

Nice, but weird.

Big hugs, and sideways glances.

But I enjoyed it.

And minus our little theft incident, the show went well.  For me at least.

Oh, mum & dad...I didn't tell you at dinner because I didn't want to ruin the nice evening and I don't want you to give me the money.  I figured I would wait until something materialized to give you the scoop.

But I obviously forgot it.

Reflections:  Another show.  That will go down in the books as a good one, where I got to shine.  But another show that was part of the Beck Youth Theatre, where if I didn't shine, there is something wrong with the system.

And there was something about this SPW that was especially rewarding.  I mean, the fact that I laid the $285 down, on my own, out of my Europe fund, is something. 

But I really have to go back to the people.  I mean, the choreographers, who, in about 3 weeks, I met, and impressed, and they all mean so much to me now.  It is kind of weird.  These people, who barely know me, see something in me, and some are even inspired to go the extra mile for me, and say something, or do something.  I appreciate that.  I'm shocked by it, kind of don't know what to think.  But I really needed it.

I guess this whole year has kind of been, I hate this, theatre hates me, my life hates me, I'll never be good enough, I'll never be lucky enough, so how about I do stuff with computers.  Well, I still think a lot of that, but now I say, screw it.  Screw it all.  I know a lot of people who do this, who I have sooooo much respect for, who I think are sooooo talented, who aren't on broadway, and probably are completely content with that.

It's just a road, right?

What's important is to do what you love, no matter what happens, or where it takes you.  As long as I'm happy, I don't care where I live or how much I make.  I can't see myself being happy living in a suburb somewhere, married, with 2.5 kids and a minivan being a soccer mom and designing websites.

Sorry, no.

If only it were that easy.

It isn't, it won't be.  I swear I will be lucky to make it through this year alive.  I'm looking at about 7 colleges to audition for, 8 or 9 to actually apply to.  I am taking 3 AP classes, I am president of 3 Clubs (Drama, Show-Choir, and French) and I'm doing Beck Conservatory, where there will probably be, like, 8 of us.  Meaning, I actually have to work...a lot.

AHHH!

But I love it.

♥

I feel like I butchered that, Mike.

Oh well.

I am in such a good mood right now I don't really care.

It could be the amazing black Max's coffee I just downed.

Or the peanut butter fudge brownie.

Or the good company.

Or the fact that I just had a really good show and nailed my solo.

Yea, nailed.

:)

I mean, I screwed up I am the Entertainer because the lights went to black waaaayyy too early, and threw me off.  But The Audition song, yea, wabam.

Belt and all.

Not to mention the fact that I had such a fabulous time at this SPW...the choreographers are amazing.

And it is really sad to think that I will probably never work with them again.

Ok, my 'rents just got home.  I'm going to go inflate my ego and then reflect.

Well, show choir camp is over.

And it wasn't a disaster.

We have two more rehearsals until this SPW thing reaches opening.

That has a good shot of being a disaster.

Well, ok, so the kids are young, obviously inexperienced, and don't really grasp the concept of a performance.  Friday night could actually kill me...but anyway, it is understandable that they haven't really figured out it is time to get it all together.

Tomorrow is the first time we will perform all of our numbers for everyone.  Which I am so totally psyched to do, but some people are, understandably, freaked.

Because they don't know what's going on.

Back to show-choir camp, good things, overall.  I predict two problems in the group, and for obvious reasons will not elaborate further.  But I see them, and know they will come.  I'm pretty confident on that.

We let out an hour early tonight, and I still got home at 9:40.

Jon, Angela, Meg and I, and at one point Emerson, yes random, sat in the parking lot at WUMC just talking.  About show choir mainly, our problems, our strengths, our plans for the year.  Yada yada yada.  After Emerson left the conversation turned personal, from health problems, into our periods.

Well, not Jon.

But he was there.

And so we had girly-talk time, with Jon, and it was fun.

Weird, huh.

Although according to trekkie monster, its only real purpose is for porn.

Take that as you like.

Swell day, nothing all too special.

SPW, voice lesson, home to eat seriously half a baguette, with brie.

Mmm.

Then to show-choir camp, tonight we went bowling, it was v. cool.

Home again, watched some Olympic coverage.

The female gymnasts make me sick.  They all look like they are 12, probably because they skipped puberty and don't have any normal body functions.

And they don't have any necks.

US team blew the gold, but that's ok, because the Romanians were cuter.  Although they were all about 4 feet tall...

And I have a really obnoxious e-mail sitting in my inbox that I should respond to, although I hope that if I ignore it long enough, it will go away.

That won't happen, until I reach my storage limit and my inbox begins to delete things for me.

Although that really isn't what I meant when I said go away.

Ack, life, the universe, and everything.

No really.

Steve is crazy and has choreographed backwards somersaults into our dance.

I'm not kidding you.

You would think it is random, but not that difficult.  Well, needless to say, I'm not as small as I was when I was 8 (the last time I did a backwards somersault) and so I can't just fling myself around anymore.

There is a technique.  And tactics.

But I obviously preferred 'flinging' the first time, and it hurt.

That section of the dance is now affectionately known as 'the dead fish' part of the dance.

Thanks Mike, thanks.

Came home, sat around, chatted with mom. 

Then I realized my 80's day idea was blown to hell by the other officers (I really appreciate the phone call that said basically 'hey Steph, we're not doing it.  See you tonight.'  Really, I do)

But it is all good, I mean, come on, I'm only the president.  Whatever.

We did have a pretty solid rehearsal though, so I am pleased.  Chatty bunch, for sure, but fun.  I think we'll be good this year.

Then to Mitchell's for more calories than I needed today (errgh, I feel sooooooo gross...but notice how I do nothing about it, sweet).  Lexi stole my keys and sat in my car for a good five minutes just checking it out.  He gave it the seal of approval.

Whatever the hell that means.

Then to Megsie's house to chill, chat w/her, chat w/Gabe, and meet some random people I feel like I should've known, who recognized me from the show, but I really had no clue who they were.

I hate that.

Church was an hour and forty minutes this morning.

I think God is trying to tell me something because I haven't been to a real service since my first week in NY.

Wow.

It was the 30th anniversary re-dedication, so they were saying prayers and blessing various parts of the church.

Yea they were.

After that Key Club picnic.  It was fun, I should've gotten the Honey Hut Ice Cream...it looked so good.  But I'm having a phat day.

Talked with some people I haven't seen in forever, all in all it was a nice time.

Then I came home and nearly finished my AP Calc packet.  One more section and a few problems here and there I have to look up.  Yes, I am the fool who threw away all of her Pre-Cal honors notes. 

So I was sitting on the floor of my room with the laptop right next to me, summer packet papers strewn all over the floor amid the graphing calculator, graph paper, ruler, three pencils (I don't know why I needed 3), eraser, and notebook paper trying to make sense of it all and remember everything I learned last year.

I didn't do so hot.

Not as bad as I thought I was going to do, but still not so well.

So I'm gonna let Grams feed me, then I'll return and finish it up, and then maybe I'll start my third summer reading book.

Sula by Toni Morrison.

I had 3 choices, I picked this one because it was the cheapest of the 3 at amazon.com and was in stock when I made the order.

So I hope it is good.

There isn't a man worth a stick of dynamite to blow him into hell.

(I forgot to throw that in there yesterday.  I guess that is something Chelsea's grandmother used to say, because her mother brought it up at the service.  I thought it was hysterical, along with everyone else, and as an ode to her memory, I shall use it now.)